So, let me take you back to 1997. I was 16, and my mom was in a midlife crisis. She wanted another baby. In order to adopt, my parents had to go through a full physical. Mom’s was fine. My dad was another story. The doctor found a large mole on his back. He went in for a biopsy, and when the results came in….my dad was told he had melanoma(skin cancer). The doctors’ said that with melanoma it grows like an octopus…..like tentacles branching out. They weren’t sure if they got it all, so they told my dad to go on chemotherapy, or change his diet. He chose to change his diet. No more alcoholic beer or pretzels. He got really healthy, and lost a lot of weight. He jogged every morning. The only thing he couldn’t get rid of was my mother’s damn “honey-do” list. My parents went ahead with the adoption. We welcomed my youngest brother Sam into our family.

Nearly 3 years had passed, and no sign of cancer. Until one day, when my baby brother was not quite 3 years old, my dad had a seizure in the shower. My mom got him to the hospital, and they ran some tests. It turned out that the melanoma had taken the form of 2 brain tumors. He had surgery immediately to remove them, but the doctors gave him 6 months to live. I was 18 years old, and planning my wedding. This was January of 2000.

In May, things took a turn for the worst. On my baby brother’s 3rd birthday, my mother did a horrible thing on the way to my brother’s birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese. She was driving us there, and told me BEFORE the party that my dad was given a week to live. She then told me I needed to be strong for Sam, and not have a breakdown at his party. I lasted an hour and a half, and ended up breaking down during one of the music shows. My dad wasn’t going to make it to my wedding day. My mind was in

overdrive. I couldn’t stand being near my mother at that point so she had a friend take me home. I had a week left with my dad. That was on May 23, 2000. Two days later, my mother called. She was with my dad at the hospital. The tumors had obviously come back. They were now pressing on the part of his brain that controlled his speech.

My mom had the idea of putting on a wedding for show in my dad’s hospital room. I was angry that she wanted “a show.” My fiancé and I went to the hospital to tell my mother it wasn’t going to be for show. We were going to sign the marriage license in front of my dad so that he could go knowing I was taken care of.

Weddings are supposed to be happy, but I couldn’t be completely happy. My dad couldn’t walk or speak. He didn’t get to walk me down the aisle. He cried through the entire ceremony….which didn’t take more than 30 minutes. It was a simple wedding. Just a few friends and a pastor. I could barely take my eyes off of my dad. I was sad that I didn’t get my father-daughter dance, but we listened to our song…Butterfly Kisses by Bob Carlisle. I squeezed myself up on the bed hugging my dad through the entire song as we both cried. That was May 25, 2000.

Two days later, he had no memory of the wedding. That hurt me so much that the memory had already been taken from him. He was deathly skinny. The next day, he fell asleep, never to wake again, but was still breathing. This was May 28th. My husband and I took time off of work to be with my dad. The night he finally took his last breath, I swear an angel spoke to me. Anyone reading this can think I’m mental, but I heard a voice clear as day tell me, “don’t be alarmed, we’re going to take your father very soon.” I never said anything to anyone about the voice I heard. I knew he

was going to be with God soon. My husband had an uneasy feeling, and wanted to leave, but I told him I needed to stay, and that I knew my dad wouldn’t be with us much longer. 15 minutes later at 10:30pm on May 30, 2000…..my dad took his last breath. Everyone was crying except me. I take longer to process those feelings.

Cancer undeniably effects not just the person who has it, but those that are close to them. Watching my dad wither away was one of the most difficult things I have had to experience. So, when it comes to skin cancer, here’s my advice: don’t go shirtless like my dad did for years. Eat as healthy as possible. Stay away from gmo foods because that food can cause cancer. Wear sunscreen. Wear a hat. Don’t be out in the sun for hours on end. The wind can even cause a sunburn, so wear sunscreen on windy days too! And if you know someone with cancer, hold them tightly because every breath we take is a gift.

It didn’t really set in that he was gone until 2 days later at his memorial service. I didn’t cry until my best friend walked into the church bawling like a baby, and then BOOM….a huge wave of emotion came over me, and wouldn’t stop. I couldn’t even sing the song I was supposed to sing because I couldn’t stop crying. I miss my dad every day, but I know we will meet again someday.

R.I.P. Dad(Jan. 20, 1949-May 30, 2000)